Postoperative consultation

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I saw my surgeon this week, Tuesday the 9th of March. I was honestly really nervous and I was sure that my bone that I got chiseled off my shin and reattached, hadn’t fused like it should have. Everything looked fine on the X-rays that I had – although you can’t see my Mpfl reconstruction (two anchors and a screw), which is very strange! But you can see my TTO surgery and the bone has fused, thankfully! Below you can see the two X-ray images.

My surgeon told me that the swelling I’m experiencing is unfortunately very normal, it will take a while to go back to normal, which sucks.. The pain in my knee isn’t normal though, it’s mainly in my arthroscopy incision that I’m experiencing a stabbing / burning sensation and he said to give it time, that I’m still healing and it could be the healing that’s making it so painful, or scar tissue. It can also be nerve damage, he wouldn’t rule that out, but only time will tell.

I won’t need my knee drained from fluids, I was really worried about that, because it was / is extremely swollen! (Picture below shows just how swollen!) No matter how much I elevate, ice and rest it my right knee / leg is just crazy swollen, it’s frustrating and painful. The swelling prevents me from bending my knee correctly and also walking normally. I don’t walk, I limp, and it’s honestly starting to really hurt my hip.

My surgeon told me that it’s important to tape my scars up, that way my skin won’t pull my incisions and they won’t get wider, but stay thin and small. So I’m taping them up like crazy, hoping it will make a difference!

I’ve been in a lot of pain this past week. My surgeon prodded my leg and knee to death and it’s just really sore right now, even more than usual, – which is a lot. I’ve been resting a lot, trying not to walk much and honestly it’s been really boring and mind numbing. My surgeon told me not to take any ibuprofen, because it slows down the healing process, so I’m only on paracetamol – which really doesn’t take any of the pain. But hopefully it’ll get better, most important thing is, that my tibia is fully fused and repaired. I’ll be gentle with my leg this following week and hope for the best.

Stay safe out there guys, and thank you for following my journey! 🤍

Pain and insomnia

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Lying awake at 2 o’clock at night has it’s ups and downs.. My knee and leg is really getting to me lately. Even my “good knee” is starting to hurt, because I compensate so much. It’s a vicious circle.

Then I end up not sleeping at night, because I’m in pain and that makes me worn, agitated and stressed. I try to work out and stick to my physiotherapy program, but my energy level is so low right now.

I get tired and completely worn out from just spending time with my friend Jane. But then when it’s time to go to sleep, my body won’t let me rest. I’m not the only one going through this issue, I know that. Half the time I don’t pay my insomnia much attention, but when dealing with my knee recovery and trying to make sure I do all of my physiotherapy, it gets to me. I’m only human, I get stressed and anxious, tired and fed up.. This too shall pass.

Most of my insomnia is due to knee pain, speculating what my surgeon will say the 9th of March at the consultation and my brain not being able to shut up and power off.

Some nights I don’t mind the lack of sleep, others are harder. When I start analyzing my aches and pains – that’s the worst nights. I can scare myself into a complete panic attack. But it’s gotten better.

I think to myself: Breathe, lie down flat on your back and just breathe. Feel your body slowly relax. Close your eyes and empty your mind of all thoughts. Wash away the negativity by every exhale, repel it and inhale positive. Feel your body slowly relax. Breathe.

Some nights it works, others I’m having to listen to podcasts, watch movies or read books till I just pass out from exhaustion.

Tonight I’m having a good night despite the insomnia. No stressful thoughts or fear of a serious diagnosis due to my pain and inability to bend my leg properly. Tonight I can put these thoughts into words and get all of my messy feelings out of my system.

I’m lucky, I know that. I have a good life, an amazing fiancé, my dog, family, friends and our beautiful home. I’m amazed how much my surgery has drained me though. This surgery isn’t just tough physically, it’s also tough mentally due to the slow recovery. This is rarely mentioned till after surgery though. It sucks, but it will get better, I will get back to normal.

I’m trying to take this whole “recovery journey” one step at a time, not stressing, but it’s freaking hard.. I already pressured my leg so much that it swelled up like a pumpkin once.. So I just try to take these small steps towards my recovery, listening to my physiotherapist, but it’s horribly slow to be honest, too slow for my liking.

I hope everyone reading along, is doing good, keeping safe during this pandemic and has a healthier sleeping pattern than me! Have a great Monday guys, take care and see you online. x