Exam preps

I have thought a lot about this post, also because its been a while since I last posted something on my blog, I have missed writing a lot to be honest and I finally thought of the right post to write, so all of my followers knows why I am a bit quiet on my blog and maybe a little stressed – but in a good and healthy way none the less!

I have been in school the last couple of months, I have had an introduction course to the caregiver education and I have been studying like mad and enjoying life and all its ups and downs. I have not had many downs though, I have worked very hard and I have fewer weekends to myself and my fiancé than I used to have in the beginning of the education course.

I have started working as an uneducated carer at the elderlyhome I was an intern at, I work the weekends that’s available and sometimes its many, sometimes none, it always seems to change and that’s just fine with me. I have been on whats called ”SU” – education benefits in a more simple term I guess you can call it, that’s something we are very lucky to receive here in Denmark, but its a very slim pay, with hardly any money to spend on anything but rent, so I took this job due to finances, but also because I want to keep in touch with the very first place I worked and I have loved that very much.

So I am working during most weekends, at least once a day every weekend, sometimes the entire weekend, that is very giving but also hard, cause of the very little free time I get for myself. This weekend I have two morning shifts, that will be my entire weekend gone, but its okay, I know a lot of people work a lot harder than me and I feel blessed because I have this job to rely on, while I study, it has been a lifesaver and my boss was an angel to give me this opportunity.

All of May have been a real struggle to find an internship. Due to the new education reform, we now have to find our own internships, instead of just getting them appointed to us, they said in mid May on the radio (Danish radio), that it’s very few that get an internship nowadays as a carer or as an assistant nurse. Let me tell you guys, its been a real struggle.. Hard work and a lot of stress have been built up in the month of May, having to focus on education and paying attention to what the teachers taught us, while also having to go to interviews and writing applications for internships – that’s been horrible! But in the end, all my hard work has payed off, I was cheeky and called up a kommune and asked if they could help me and get me an interview, it worked! I had an interview with them, and after about two week I got an internship with them, at a care home close to where I live and after August I no longer have to stress about how many shifts I get at work in the weekends, cause I will get adult internship salary, something that not many have been given, even though we thought that we were all eligible for that. It is a complicated and impossible system, but I thought you just had to be 25 or more to receive adult salary, but unfortunately not. I do not have the answer to this even now, I just know I was one of the few with enough work experience and the proper age. I do think a lot about what this means to my classmates, but I also know that their going to be amazing at being caregivers and together we can help support our elders and disabled.

I have gotten a lot of friends and acquaintances at this education, it has been an amazing experience for me and I would do it all over again, I feel a lot more confident than I did when I first started and now I got some amazing tools to take with me to use during my internship.

The exams are creeping up, next month – July to be exact. I need to have my exam in this main course, so it’s just a regular main exam and then another one in biology / science, which we in Denmark call ”Nature subject”, I’m mostly nervous about the last exam mentioned, cause that is some information you need to remember by heart, to me that is hard. Math has never been my strong side and there is a bit of math in this subject too – but it all comes down to what stuff you get about at the exam and that is something you draw the day before, so you will in total have 24 hours at each exam. I will just do my best, cause that’s all I can do really.

I hope for the very best outcome for all my classmates, cause they have all showed such interest and passion for this education, they all deserve to pass with honors. We need carers that love what they do, just like my classmates do every day, when we have discussions about ethics, moral and dilemmas. We have had some amazing cases that we have worked on and that we have had to discuss in class. In our line of work, we get met by a lot of choices and dilemmas, where our morals will be tested, so far I think everyone have passed with flying colours.

So to wrap it up, good luck to my classmates, to the ones out there reading this post, thats also studying for exams and for the ones looking for internships, you can do it!

With love, Miamariah! x

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I proved you wrong..

Iwon

This is simply to all the bad friends I have had over the years, starting from school and up till’ now. A nice and well put ”fuck you” is in order, cause I did prove people wrong, and I did do something great with my life, and I am exited about what lies ahead. The past has been rough, and I have had friends who belived they were so much better than me, and their parents even encouraged them to belive so. Why cant people just think themself equal? I always thought of myself mostly as equal, until the person either did something so retarded that I just couldent view them in that way, or something so down right evil that I wouldent want to spend a minute longer in their presence, but either what – they had to ruin it for themself.

Me finishing my education has truly amazed alot of people, especially when they find out wich education im finishing. I guess it just sounds fancy? But I cant help but feel a little pissed in some way, that they ever truly doubted me, that they belittled me so much, cause friends should never even be able to think of such things, they should be supportive and caring.

– I will share a small story with you guys, that has left a little scar behind, so you can see why I am so terribly offended now.

When I was a young teen, I went to a fancy private school in the suburbs and I had a good friend named C. She had folks who truly loved and spoiled her rotten, wich was great for her, but horrible for me, cause I got the ”shit parts” of that spoiled little brat, and I thought she treasured me as a sister, a kindred spirit – Oh how wong I was.

When I finished school, we went our seperate ways, I went to a higher type of education than her, she took a business school, and I choose to get a higher one, cause my parents said it would be smart.. When I went to tell C that I got in, she told her folks ofc, and a few weeks after, she told me they said ”Too bad you dident choose the same, cause she is dumber than you, and now she will have a higher education.” She just told me, straight out, just like that, no flinching, no embarassment.. I was speachless! I was always less, I had always been in their eyes, and somehow I had always known, but it never hurt me, till’ now…

That episode right there, wasent the thing that made me stop being her friend, and I loved her as a sister, I really did. When we got even older, her parents thought I would try to steal away her boyfriends, cause I was just that cheap… And I was oh’ so jealous of her, and how pretty she was. So not true.. I never once liked any of her boyfriends in that way – ever, and I would never ever try to steal them away, and I never tried to stay friends with any of them after they broke up, I did not stay in touch. I was the perfect friend, but she ofc dident do the same, and even today, she keeps in contact with my ex-boyfriends, wich is kinda a ”girls rule” that you just dont do! Well.. She did, and I just found out in the end, that me and her compared – I was the one who was too good for her. She listned to her folks, and dident let me tagg along with her and her boyfriends when they went out, cause she apparently belived that I would do such a horrid thing. – Never in my life have I ever dated a friends ex, and I never will, it is a rule that I live by, and even if they would find it okay, I wouldent…

 

What makes a bad friend bad? What makes a good friend good? I cant place it myself, I just feel it, its the things we sacrifice for oneanother, and the things we dont ask, but we just get, and give in return. Have you ever been heart broken by a good friend?

Some friends has been amazing, and a huge warm thanks to these people, I dont even need to mention your names, cause you guys knows who you are. There isent many people that I trust, and even fewer that I call friends, but you guys have won me over, and you deserve everything, thank you. I had a tough life, and I owe very few, but the few very close friends I have, those I owe everything.

Work, work, work!

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The picture is snapped just now, the clock is 08:51 – morning!

Yesterday (Friday) I had my exams, and passed with a decent grade, yey for that! We did a WordPress based website, that needed to be build for smartphones, pc’s and iPads. It went really well thanks to Lynda.com and their amazing vid’s! Thank you! ❤

Shortly after, I had to work, and I bumped into an accident on the highway, that ofc delayed me quite a bit! Aww.. It was a mess!

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And now I’m on my way to work again. I haven’t slept all that great, but I really love my co-workers and my boss, so I’m looking forward to going!

With love..
Miamariah!

Welcome back insomnia

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Oh welcome back insomnia, my old “friend”, how I just haven’t missed you… My exams are this tuesday, the 19th to be exact, and I believe this insomnia attack is due to my exams coming up. I keep telling myself that it will be okay and I will be all fine, but damn how I worry. Buy hey, saying it’s gonna be ok enough times might make me believe that I will be fine right?

Tonight I spend reading a book at first, but i finished it quite fast. Then I started looking at my empty bedroom wall, and realized that I had two amazing Japanese inspired wall stickers lying around, so I went into a creative state, and started placing them on the very bare white wall. It looks kinda awesome now, maybe I’ll rearrange it a little, or only keep one in my bedroom and move another to the living room, not sure yet, but it’s a fantastic idea, cause with these stickers you don’t get your all newly painted walls ruined! I am in love with Japanese art, it’s beautiful and simple, I have a big tattoo on my hip/thigh, and its picturing a cherry blossom branch, and a Japanese kanji that says “ki” or in Chinese “chi”, means your inner souls strength. A strong soul by accomplishing peace within, to be excact. On my wrist, I have a Japanese kanji who stands for strength, a very personal thing happened once, where strength got a whole new meaning, so I carry it on my wrist forever now. In all I have 3 tattoos – two of them Japanese inspired, one is of my favorite animals, the firefly and the butterfly, that one I can show you guys another time.

Are you guys as crazy about anything as I am about Japanese art? Do tell!

Blog ya’ later!

With love..
Miamariah

Exam project finished

Finally its over

All the writing, the planning, the assignments.. Its over now, I can only wait and see, how it will be turning out now, Its out of my hands right now, and Im pretty content actually. The whole thing has gone okay, Ive been crazy busy, things has happend all around me, and I had many downs through out this time, sadly. But this should be a good day today, everything is turned in, its done, finished and I can breathe now. But Im feeling ill right now, dizzy and tired constantly. I tried sleeping alot, drinking water, getting fresh air.. Nothing helps at all. I think Its due to me being so stressed out by the project we had to have done, but It shouldent keep going like this.. I will know soon enough if Im ill, or just stressed.

Now Im just waiting till the 19th, to go though the examination, and then, there will be a very long summer break for me. Its going to be awesome! Now I just hope the weather gets better, so I can work on my balcony floors some more, and get the garden furniture my mom and dad ordred used alot when it arrives.